WWE Raw Recap 5/30
It’s the Memorial Day edition of Monday Night Raw! The shows
that land on the Monday holidays always serve as an interesting look into the
operation of the company being that Raw kicks off the week for WWE, and it’s
not a great idea to start with filler content. Being as it may, I give you
Memorial Day Raw live from Green Bay, WI.
We open the show with the traditional video package and
tribute to the U.S. of A. into the theme. Stephanie comes down to the ring to
the normal boos which were quickly converted to cheers when Shane’s music
drops. The two go back and forth about the announcement of the upcoming Live
Smackdown and anticipated roster split, although they never specifically said
it. This prompts the New Day to interject. The main concern for YOUR WWE TAG
TEAM CHAMPIONS is that there is a possibility that there could be a split in
the power of positivity, which would be bad.
The New Day continues to represent for the culture, nerds,
and the children in us all. First, there was the shout out to Shane for his
shoes. They followed up with the imaginary dodging of the questions dodge ball.
Big E also sent all the Game of Thrones fans into a moment with the “HODOR!
HODOR! HOLD THE DOOR!” comment. We took that age old step, though, of having a
group of Black wrestlers inspire some type of dance off between two other
individuals before it was done. Finally, there was a well-placed Star Wars
reference before the segment ended.
Vaudevillians vs. New Day
We got the normal back and forth between the
two teams until the Unicorn Stampede. It was worth noting that Gotch did use
the partying as an opportunity to sneak attack Kofi. The real purpose for this
match became apparent when Anderson and Gallows appeared ringside and attacked
Xavier and eventually causing the DQ. I do find it particularly disturbing when
a team who lost due to interference allows the cause to have the stage as the
Vaudevillains did with Anderson and Gallows; either way, the New Day wins by
DQ, but loses by getting jumped by the two teams.
Big Show & Apollo talk backstage about the Jericho
incident. Show flips so much I didn’t quite catch his angle so it ended up
being a moment to check my Snapchat.
II.
Uso’s vs. BreezAngo with Golden Truth on
commentary
Before the commercial break, the Golden
Truth entertains us with song and dance while the announce team informs us they
are coming down to join on commentary. The match was filler at best but I did
take a few notes:
a.
Truth calls Byron, Coach
b.
This was the second match, and we’re a quarter
of the way into the show
c.
Truth is the Drax of the WWE through his literal
translations, and
d.
Breezango squashed.
Roman comes down for a promo, invites Seth to the ring, and
teases a fight. The whole segment seems to trim another 10 minutes off the 3
hour show while adding nothing to it.
Goldberg is back for WWE 2K17.
III.
Lana, in that blue, announces Rusev v. Zack Ryder
Long Island Ice Z aka the Memorial Day
Miracle has new attire for this match. Who’s signing off on this? Where is it
in the budget? TNA could use this budget. Not only is the announce team selling
the US Title, Rusev claims to be a Great American as the US Champion. He was
great for the no-sell of two Broski Boots by kicking out after a 0.5 count. The
match was over when a modified Accolade was applied? Anyway Ryder taps, Rusev
continues on about being a Great American, and the Primetime Players theme
hits. It’s Titus! Now to be honest, I would have been more excited if it was
Darren Young and his new “life coach” Bob Backlund coming down. Titus, the
Black man, represents for America and sucker punches Rusev. Then it hit me like
a sucker punch that Titus is supposed to be leaving soon.
Next up, everyone, and I mean everyone, weighs in on
Charlotte and Ric Flair to be capped off with a recording of Stephanie calling
Charlotte out backstage. Another 10 to 15 minutes of show burned.
Enzo & Cass vs. Dudleys
There was nothing much to this match that
we have not seen in the past three weeks. I guess it worth saying that the
Dudleys are a likely victim of a team being split during the separation of
brands. It always happens, and it will happen this time. Enzo & Cass win
with a Rocket Launcher.
Backstage the faces of the Money in the Bank match devise a
strategy for the main event. Dean also realizes Sami is Canadian.
The moment of the night is here when John Cena returns. I
didn’t pay much attention to what he had to say about the New Era, or maybe I
did and forgot when AJ made his appearance. The place exploded. I have to
believe that the powers that be knew it would happen and told them to let it be
so that it could kill some more time, and they did for what seemed like five
minutes of chanting. AJ welcomes Cena back, Anderson & Gallows appear, Cena
forms an unlikely alliance, and the inevitable happened. AJ caught Cena in the
face as he rebounded off the ropes. The trio stomp a mud hole in the man. Oh
now it comes back to me, Cena said the New Era goes through him meaning that
he’s issuing an opening invitation to any new face in WWE. Invite accepted sir.
Over and over again as AJ couldn’t get enough.
Natalya vs. Dana Brooke w/ Charlotte
Where are the other women? I swear these
are the only three I’ve seen since before Extreme Rules. It has to be due to
injury because this match was at a nice, easy pace. Brooke even seemed to pull
back on her finisher. Becky’s here! There are other women working this show.
Dolph claimed to have 1005 holds but named arm bar 3 times
in paying respects to Jericho, who is still active on the roster.
VI.
Dolph vs. Baron Corbin for the 1005th
time
This is supposed to be a technical
wrestling match, something that even Dolph isn’t known for having. Enter the
story of Dolph’s wrestling career at Kent State and head gear. All this for a
low blow? If it wasn’t obvious that they’re just killing time, I don’t know
what else you need. Maybe a six-man tag match compiled of competitors of an upcoming
pay-per-view match?
6-man tag match
Your standard mix superstar tag match. One
superstar shows strength, Cesaro. Two opposing superstars take advantage and
work him over, Jericho and Del Rio. Two other superstars on the strong star’s
team shift the momentum, Ambrose and Zayn, leading to a commercial break. One
team is dismantled in some way; this case the heels implode with Owens turning
on his team. The winning team pulls off a pin on the isolated opponent, Dean
lands Dirty Deeds on Owens.
There you have it seven matches in three hours, which is
close to what you get with a PPV, but without as much filler content. Missing
in action: Darren Young, Shining Stars (who just debuted again), Lucha Dragons,
Sheamus, Mark Henry, Alicia Fox, Paige, and the Social Jobbers…Outcasts.
Contributed by
Tony A.